How to manage a workplace romance: insights from Apple TV+'s hit show 'Shrinking'

A brief introduction to Shrinking

For the uninitiated, Apple TV+’s Shrinking stars Jason Segel, Jessica Williams and Harrison Ford.

It has been a big hit for the streaming service.

On 16 October 2024, Shrinking returned for Season 2.

And, on 17 October 2024, just one day after Season 2 premiered, Shrinking was renewed for a third season.

The plot

Jason, Jessica and Harrison play therapists working at the originally titled, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center.

Since the focus is on cognitive therapy and I don’t recall any of them ever prescribing their patient’s medication, I think we should assume they are psychologists rather than psychiatrists.

Jason Segel’s plays Jimmy, a therapist who is grieving the death of his wife.

Jessica Williams plays Gaby, another therapist. Gaby’s marriage has imploded but she is the most optimistic character in the show and holds everyone else together.

Harrison Ford plays Dr Paul Rhoades. Paul heads the practice, mentors Jimmy and, to a lesser extent, Gabby. He’s also grappling with the early stages of Parkinson’s disease.

The series revolves around the chaos that ensues when Jimmy, deep in grief after losing his wife in a car accident, starts to break ethical barriers by telling his patients what he really thinks.

At its core, the Shrinking s really about what happens when you blur boundaries. Every character in the show crosses one or more boundaries and the audience is treated to the hilarious, and sometimes tragic, consequences.

Workplace romances

Workplace romances are common.

A lot of people meet at work and end up in long-term relationships. This isn’t surprising because we all spend a lot of time at work.

Let me be clear from the outset, when I talk about workplace romances, I am talking about consensual sexual relationships. I am not talking about sexual harassment or sexual assault, which should be reported and dealt with in an appropriate way.

In 2024, Forbes Advisor commissioned a survey of 2,000 employed Americans. The results showed that over 60% of adults have had a workplace romance. Interestingly, 43% of these relationships led to marriage.

Other interesting statistics from this study include:

• 57% report that workplace relationships have impacted their work performance
• 35% don’t report their relationship to their employer
• 40% have cheated on their current partner with a co-worker
• 50% report flirting with their co-workers.

In Australia, there aren’t any laws that prohibit a workplace relationship between employees on the same team or between senior and junior employees.

Nevertheless, many employers try to regulate consensual workplace romances through policies.

This is because conflicts of interest can arise when there is a workplace romance between employees on the same team or between a senior and junior employee.

Basically, a policy will force disclosure and enable senior leaders or Human Resources to ‘manage’ the situation.

What can Shrinking teach us about detecting red flags in workplace romances?

There are 3 key questions you should ask if you’re a manager and you’ve discovered a workplace romance in your team:

1. Is the relationship consensual?
2. Does your business or organisation have a policy on workplace romances?
3. Is there a power imbalance?

Let’s use Shrinking as a case study and use these 3 key questions to dig a little deeper into how to work out whether a workplace romance should cause you to see a red flag.

Workplace romance No. 1: Jimmy and Gabby

During series 1 (spoiler alert), Jimmy and Gabby get drunk at a party and sleep together.

As I’ve explained above, Jimmy and Gabby are work colleagues.

They also have a personal relationship. Gaby was best friends with Jimmy’s dead wife. She is also godmother to Jimmy’s teenage daughter, Alice.

Yes, the situation is murky.

Qn 1: Is the relationship between Jimmy and Gabby consensual?

The first thing you need to do if you are investigating a workplace romance is establish whether the relationship is consensual.

Despite the alcohol involved on the night in question, there is no doubt that Jimmy and Gaby’s sexual relationship is consensual.

It doesn’t matter that the situation between Jimmy and Gaby is murky because they have both a personal and professional relationship.

It also doesn’t matter that the situation becomes even murkier when Gabby ends the relationship because she ‘catches feelings’ for Jimmy that aren’t reciprocated.

The awkwardness is filtered through Gaby and Jimmy’s boss, Paul, who keeps bumping into the couple either being affectionate (during their relationship) or awkward (after they break up).

In many ways, Jimmy and Gabby’s relationship is a classic example of why work colleagues shouldn’t sleep together.

Qn 2: Does the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center have a policy on workplace romances?

If you have a workplace policy that demands disclosure of a workplace romance, then, people in a relationship need to disclose any relationship to management. Otherwise, they could find themselves in hot water.

Since the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Center is a tiny workplace with three practitioners, there doesn’t seem to be a policy.

And, let’s face it, Paul isn’t the kind of guy that is going to worry about policies and procedures. He’s firmly focused on helping his patients and mentoring his younger colleagues.

For this reason, technically, Jimmy and Gaby don’t have to disclose their relationship to Paul.

As a result, there is nothing Paul can do about the relationship because Jimmy and Gaby haven’t contravened any workplace policy.

Basically, as we see in the show, Paul simply has to put up with their shenanigans.

Qn 3: Is there a power imbalance?

You always need to check for power imbalances when you come across a workplace romances because it is an area where things can go pear shaped quickly.

In a hierarchical relationship, the more senior employee can be accused of abusing their power to control or undermine the junior employee. Alternatively, they can be accused of abusing their power to benefit their partner.

Generally, lateral relationships are less tricky than hierarchical ones.

Gabby and Jimmy’s relationship is a lateral relationship because they are both psychologists and sit at the same level within the practice. For this reason, there is no power imbalance.

If either of them had slept with Paul, however, it would be a different story because it would be a hierarchical relationship containing a power imbalance.

Workplace romance No. 2: Paul and Julie

In series 1 (spoiler alert), Paul develops a relationship with his neurologist, Julie.

Their relationship begins when Dr Julie is treating Paul for his Parkinson’s.

It is not until Series 2, Episode 3 that Dr Julie hands over Paul’s care to another doctor.

Qn 1: Is the relationship consensual?

From what we see on screen, the relationship between Paul and Julie is consensual.

However, we don’t actually see them ‘get together’ so we have no idea how this happened. Instead, we find out because Gaby discovers their relationship by accident.

In this way, Shrinking avoids any ‘ick’ factor associated with Paul and Julie’s relationship.

Qn 2: What is the policy on workplace romances between a doctor and a patient?

This is where Paul and Julie’s relationship becomes problematic.

Julie is presented as the most sensible and emotionally balanced character in Shrinking. She is also kind, funny and smart – a winning combination. Nevertheless, by becoming involved with Paul, she has breached way more than a workplace policy.

The harsh reality is that if Julie was practising in either Australia or the US instead of TV Land she is likely to have her registration cancelled.

The Medical Board of Australia’s Good medical practice: a code of conduct for doctors in Australia states that good medical practice involves ‘never using your professional relationship to pursue a sexual, exploitative or other inappropriate relationship with anybody under your care.’

This is because:

• There is a power imbalance because the doctor-patient relationship is inherently unequal.
• It is a violation of trust.
• There is a risk of the patient suffering emotional or physical harm.
• A doctor who sexualises patients is likely to lose the objectivity needed to provide them with good quality healthcare.

In the United States, the situation is similar. The American Medical Association’s Code of Medical Ethics states, ‘Romantic or sexual interactions between physicians and patients that occur concurrently with the patient physician relationship are unethical.’

The Code goes on to explain that such interactions:

• detract from the goals of the patient-physician relationship of the patient
• may compromise the physicians ability to make objective judgements about the patient’s health care
• could be detrimental to the patient’s well-being.

So, although the relationship between Paul and Julie in Shrinking is the most mature and endearing relationship in the show, we need to relegate it to TV Land.

Let’s be very clear - doctors should never sleep with their patients.

Qn 3: Is there a power imbalance between Paul and Julie?

Yes. There is a power imbalance because Julie is Paul’s treating doctor.

Paul is a patient with a progressive, degenerative neurological condition. Despite his independent nature and determination to navigate his illness alone, he is vulnerable.

This is why the medical profession has such strict rules about relationships between doctors and patients.

What should we conclude about workplace romances?

You can’t stop workplace romances.

The reality is they are going to happen.

However, if you are managing a team, you can make things easier by knowing the red flags to look out for and taking steps that will reduce the chance of a workplace romance causing a major disruption.

To ensure you know exactly what is going on and so you can control the situation, irrespective of the size of your organisation, it makes sense to have a policy that obliges your people to disclose any office romances.

By the way, the next episode of Shrinking comes out today.

Do you help need managing a workplace romance in your team? Do you need help with policies and procedures?

Dr Genevieve Burnett specialises in helping businesses and organisations become compliant with the Positive Duty. More specifically, she can help you eradicate sex discrimination and sexual harassment. Find out here how she can help you build a workplace where everyone feels safe, respected and included, get in touch now.