‘Respect in the workplace’: it’s far from straightforward

‘What does “respect in the workplace” actually mean?’

A couple of days ago, a client rang me and asked, ‘Can you explain to me what ‘respect in the workplace’ actually means?’

The question came out of an unpleasant incident. My client had called an employee into a private meeting and told him that his work was not up to scratch.

What was his response?

The employee accused my client of being disrespectful.

‘It’s ridiculous’, said my client. ‘It’s my job to tell him when his work isn’t up to scratch. I’m his boss.’

What was going on? Had my client been disrespectful? Or, was the employee using the ‘respect card’ as a weapon?

‘Respect’ is the most important leadership quality

In a survey of 20,000 employees around the world conducted by Georgetown University’s Christine Porath, the respondents ranked respect as the most important leadership behaviour.

Porath’s study showed that being treated with respect was more important than:

•  recognition and appreciation
•  communicating an inspiring vision
•  providing useful feedback
•  opportunities for learning, growth and development.
  
  

Interestingly, people who got respect from their leaders reported:

•  56% better health and well-being
•  1.72 times more trust and safety
•  89% greater enjoyment and satisfaction
•  92 greater focus and prioritisation
•  1.26 times more meaning and significance.
•  1.1 times more likely to stay with their organisations than those that didn’t.
  
  

Respect also had a positive effect on engagement. People who said leaders treated them with respect were 55% more engaged.

Yet, over half (54%) of employees claimed they don’t get respect from their leaders.

Interesting, isn’t it?

What is ‘respect in the workplace’?

Porath defines it as ‘civility’ or behaviour involving politeness and regard for others in the workplace.

I also believe that it involves actually caring about the people you work with.

Disrespect stems from a lack of awareness

Porath claims that the vast majority of disrespect stems from a lack of self-awareness. Most people do not realise how they affect others. They may have good intentions but fail to see how they are perceived.

Porath also points out that respect is different for different people. As a leader, you need to be aware that it is tied to what a particular individual expects and how a leader makes the person feel. Norms vary by culture, generation and gender, as well as industry and organisation.

Disrespect stems from a lack of understanding of what constitutes respect

Kristie Rogers, an Associate Professor of Management at Marquette University, has looked at the issue in a more complex way. She believes that the problem is that leaders have an incomplete understanding of what constitutes workplace respect.

Her research indicates that employees value two distinct types of respect: Owed respect and Earned respect.

This is a distinction that I think is useful.

Owed respect

Owed respect is given equally to all members of a business or organisation.

It meets the universal need to feel included.

It is demonstrated by civility and an atmosphere suggesting that every member of the group is inherently valuable.

In environments with too little owed respect, you see micromanaging, incivility and abuse of power. There is also a sense that employees are interchangeable.

In environments with too much owed respect, there is a tendency to shy away from difficult conversations.

Earned respect

In contrast, earned respect recognises individual employees who display valued qualities or behaviours. It identifies employees who have exceeded expectations and notes that each employee has unique strengths and talents.

Basically, earned respect meets an employee’s need to be valued for doing good work.

You can tell when it does not exist because people will steal credit for other people’s work and fail to recognise employees’ achievements.

Finding the right balance

You need to find the right balance between owed respect and earned respect.

An imbalance between can cause employees to become frustrated and resentful.

If you create an environment where there is a lot of owed respect but very little earned respect, your employees will probably say that everyone is treated the same regardless of their performance. This can work for teams where goals need to be accomplished as a team but there is a risk that employees feel unmotivated and lack accountability.

If your workplace has low owed respect but high earned respect, it can create too much competition between employees. This may work in environments where employees tend to work on their own and rarely collaborate. However, it can lead to cutthroat behaviour or a failure to share critical knowledge.

As a leader, you should create an environment that is right for your workplace. Ideally, with high levels of both kinds of respect.

What are the benefits of a respectful workplace?

Respectful workplaces bring enormous benefits to businesses and organisations.

Employees say that feel more satisfied with their jobs and more loyal to their companies.

They are more resilient, cooperate more with others, perform better and are even more creative.

What is the effect of a lack of respect in a workplace?

A lack of respect in the workplace can be a disaster for a business or organisation.

To quote the book Crucial Conversations, ‘Respect is like air. As long as it’s present, nobody thinks about it. But if you take it away, it’s all people can think about.’

Christine Porath and Christine Pearson’s research supports this:

•  80% of employees treated uncivilly spend significant work time ruminating on the bad behaviour.
•  48% deliberately reduce their effort.
•  Disrespectful treatment often spreads among employees and is taken out on customers and clients.
•  People are less likely to buy from a company with an employee they perceive as rude, whether the rudeness is directed at them or at other employees.

Was my client disrespectful?

So, my client and I ended up having a long chat about owed and earned respect in her organisation.

We agreed that the culture of the team emphasised owed respect over earned respect. My client confirmed that everyone was very nice to each other in the office but there was insufficient emphasis on earned respect.

We agreed that she had delivered the negative feedback to the employee in an appropriate way – privately. However, we agreed that this feedback may have come as a shock to the employee because the atmosphere in the team was always supportive, positive and kind.

We also agreed that she should have spent more time asking the employee whether there were any reasons for the sudden drop in the quality of his work. When she explored this further with the employee, she found out his marriage had broken down.

Ten tips for building a respectful workplace

As we talked, we came up with a list of ten tips for building a respectful environment in her team.

Tip 1: Give owed respect to all employees – whether they are the CEO or the cleaner.

Tip 2: Give earned respect to employees to meet or exceed standards specific to their role – both publicly and privately.

Tip 3: Ensure that when you are giving respect it is both genuine and consistent. Otherwise, it may be perceived as manipulative or insincere.

Tip 4: Remain open to advice and listen actively.

Tip 5: Give employees the freedom to pursue creative ideas.

Tip 6: Take an interest in your employees’ non-work lives without being intrusive.

Tip 7: Back your employees in critical situations.

Tip 8: Give positive feedback publicly and negative feedback privately.

Tip 9: Understand that leadership behaviours are often mimicked throughout an organisation

Tip 10: Think of respect as infinite (rather than limited) – all members of an organisation are entitled to owed respect and all employees who meet or surpass performance standards deserve earned respect.